Coming home

Everyone I know loves coming home because it’s a place they can relax. Come home to friendly faces. With me it’s not that way. I enjoy staying out such as being at work or at university. Coming home is like a chore to me, I don’t feel relaxed, I don’t feel happy, I feel constricted. 

I feel happy when I’m at uni, like I have achieved something. But at home I feel ignored, I feel like I’m always targeted. As soon as I step in my house I feel weird and uneasy. My family’s routine has been the same for quite sometime and it’s hard for them to change that. I have moved on hence I struggle to connect with them. 

The only place I feel happy is in my room and when I’m with my boyfriend. I’ve created a peaceful environment in my room. A place where I can relax and be calm. But I can’t have it too long, because I get asked why are you in your room? What are you doing? Come sit with us.

I haven’t felt this sad and anxious in a while  . I think I’m improving. 

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